People of faith must join the fight to preserve normal marriage

By Marsha West

Marriage is a fundamental social institution that does not exist just for the emotional satisfaction of two individuals but for the greater good of the community which stands under the blessing or curse of God. Societies that put emotional fulfillment before right actions and principles will soon give way to a multitude of addictions and deep corruptions and collapse. God will judge any society that institutes same sex marriages. ~ ChristianAnswers.net

In an effort to destroy the definition of marriage in America, President Obama abruptly announced that he is in favor of same-sex marriage. This came as no big surprise as he had already decided that the Department of Justice would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, a federal law that defines marriage as the legal union of one man and one woman. Likewise he repealed the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law that prohibited openly gay men and lesbians from serving in the military. The president left many scratching their heads. asking why he didn't wait until after the election to make the announcement.

During an interview with ABC's Robin Roberts, Mr. Obama referred to his Christian faith in explaining his decision:

[W]e are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it's also the Golden Rule, you know, treat others the way you would want to be treated.

When addressing homosexuality it is odd for a self-professed Christian to suggest that following the Golden Rule, which is found in many religions, is more important than following the clear teaching in Scripture.

Whether or not we should preserve normal marriage or surrender to gays and lesbians and adopt same-sex marriage is one of the most important issues of our time. So important that it makes one wonder why more Americans aren't on the front lines of the battle to preserve normal marriage. The stakes are too high to allow those who wish the deconstruction of marriage and the family to win this battle. So I pose the question to people of faith, especially those who believe the Bible to be the infallible, inerrant Word of God: What are you doing to stop the radical Left's plot to destroy God's plan for marriage put forth in Ephesians 5:31:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).

When polled on same-sex marriage many citizens are fearful of speaking their minds because they worry they'll be accused of being hateful, bigoted, intolerant — or worse. So some will say they support it when in fact they don't. I know this because 32 states have put gay marriage to a vote and it has failed all 32 times.

Those of us who oppose same-sex unions must realize that liberals are ruthless and skilled at using intimidation tactics against their opponents. Their strategy: Take no prisoners. So when defenders of normal marriage are coerced and bullied by the Left, we mustn't cower in the corner. Instead we must state our case clearly and concisely. We have that right! We must suck it up. Stand firm. Drench them with truth. Truth is a potent weapon against the enemy of God!

In a previous article I told the story of a conversation I had with a friend of mine who supports same-sex marriage. The story bears repeating.

Sandy (a pseudonym) is a self-professed Christian, albeit a liberal one. When the subject of same-sex marriage came up during a conversation, she said she sees nothing wrong with it. After I explained the profound affect it will have on families and society in general she shrugged and said, "I don't believe that."

I pressed her to explain how same-sex marriage would benefit society. Her response was that she works with a "gay" man who has been in a committed relationship for over 20 years. She chirped, "He's a wonderful loving person who wouldn't hurt a fly." And then she tossed the lethal grenade: "Besides, they can't help it if they're born gay."

Ahhh, the "gay gene" rationalization.

I asked her to explain the basis of her belief. She replied that scientific studies have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that some people are born gay. Thus, homosexuality is as normal as heterosexuality. I pointed out that data could be manipulated to reflect the bias of those conducting the studies, which is what happened in the "gay gene" study.

I also conveyed to Sandy that I know a number of people who are ex-gays and that after they left the gay lifestyle some of them married, had children, and are no longer have same-sex attractions. To that she huffed, "My friend says there is no such thing as a former gay, so your friends must not have been gay, they just thought they were."

Even though the discussion got pretty heated at times, we both managed to keep our cool. My goal was not to change her mind; only to pass on information she may not have heard before. The conversation ended with Sandy having the last word: "As long as they're not hurting anyone they should be able to do whatever they want to." And then she quickly changed the subject.

So, is there a "gay gene," as Sandy believes?

The group Answers to Your Questions for a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation & Homosexuality tells us that:

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles...

Is it true that homosexuals are not hurting anyone, as Sandy suggests?

According to the prestigious Mayo Clinic:

All men have certain health risks. Gay men and men who have sex with men face an increased risk of specific health concerns, however.

Risks include:

Men who have sex with men are at increased risk of contracting HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, as well as other sexually transmitted infections, including gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis. (emphasis added)

The Mayo Clinic further concludes that body image is also a problem:

Gay men are more likely to experience body image problems and eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia nervosa, than are their straight counterparts. One potential explanation is that gay men identify with the cultural value placed on an ideal — yet often unattainable — body image. Gay men might also be more likely to view their bodies as sexual objects, which can lead to dissatisfaction and poor body image.

But the matter of same-sex marriage isn't principally an issue because of the health risks associated with homosexuality and lesbianism. What this is about is whether or not people of faith should take up arms and move forward or retreat and allow the radical far-left to redefine an institution that has been the essential bedrock of civilization for centuries.

We all have friends like Sandy in our lives, therefore it's imperative that we have our ducks in a row when we have discussions with them, or anyone else for that matter, and that we are as "wise as serpents, harmless as doves" when we discuss contentious issues such as homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

With this in mind, Pastor Kevin DeYoung has laid out five reasons Christians should publicly oppose "bestowing the term and institution of marriage upon same-sex couples." His reasons are as follows:

1. Every time the issue of gay marriage has been put to a vote by the people, the people have voted to uphold traditional marriage. Even in California. In fact, the amendment passed in North Carolina on Tuesday by a wider margin (61-39) than a similar measure passed six years ago in Virginia (57-42). The amendment passed in North Carolina, a swing state Obama carried in 2008, by 22 percentage points. We should not think that gay marriage in all the land is a foregone conclusion. To date 30 states have constitutionally defined marriage as between a man and a woman.

2. The promotion and legal recognition of homosexual unions is not in the interest of the common good. That may sound benighted, if not bigoted. But we must say it in love: codifying the indistinguishability of gender will not make for the "peace of the city." It rubs against the grain of the universe, and when you rub against the grain of divine design you're bound to get splinters. Or worse. The society which says sex is up to your own definition and the family unit is utterly fungible is not a society that serves its children, its women, or its own long term well being.

3. Marriage is not simply the term we use to describe those relationships most precious to us. The word means something and has meant something throughout history. Marriage is more than a union of hearts and minds. It involves a union of bodies — and not bodies in any old way we please, as if giving your cousin a wet willy in the ear makes you married. Marriage, to quote one set of scholars, is a "comprehensive union of two sexually complementary persons who seal (consummate or complete) their relationship by the generative act — by the kind of activity that is by its nature fulfilled by the conception of a child. So marriage itself is oriented to and fulfilled by the bearing, rearing, and education of children." This conjugal view of marriage states in complex language what would have been a truism until a couple generations ago. Marriage is what children (can) come from. Where that element is not present (at the level of sheer design and function, even if not always in fulfillment), marriage is not a reality. We should not concede that "gay marriage" is really marriage. What's more, as Christians we understand that the great mystery of marriage can never be captured between a relationship of Christ and Christ or church and church.

4. Allowing for the legalization of gay marriage further normalizes what was until very recently, and still should be, considered deviant behavior. While it's true that politics is downstream from culture, it's also true that law is one of the tributaries contributing to culture. In our age of hyper-tolerance we try to avoid stigmas, but stigmas can be an expression of common grace. Who knows how many stupid sinful things I've been kept from doing because I knew my peers and my community would deem it shameful. Our cultural elites may never consider homosexuality shameful, but amendments that define marriage as one man and one woman serve a noble end by defining what is as what ought to be. We do not help each other in the fight for holiness when we allow for righteousness to look increasingly strange and sin to look increasingly normal.

5. We are naive if we think a laissez faire compromise would be enjoyed by all if only the conservative Christians would stop being so dogmatic. The next step after giving up the marriage fight is not a happy millennium of everyone everywhere doing marriage in his own way. The step after surrender is conquest. I'm not suggesting heterosexuals would no longer be able to get married. What I am suggesting is that the cultural pressure will not stop with allowing for some "marriages" to be homosexual. It will keep mounting until all accept and finally celebrate that homosexuality is one of Diversity's great gifts. The goal is not for different expressions of marriage, but for the elimination of definitions altogether. Capitulating on gay marriage may feel like giving up an inch in bad law to gain a mile in good will. But the reality will be far different. For as in all of the devil's bargains, the good will doesn't last nearly so long as the law. (Read Pastor DeYoung's entire article here)

What is God's plan for sexuality?

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them (Genesis 1:27).

Recommended Reading:

Homosexuality links — On Solid Rock Resources

The Deconstruction of Marriage & Family — By Christl Ruth Vonholdt, M.D.

Five Myths About Same-Sex Marriage — By Janet Shaw Crouse

A version of this article was published in 2006

© Marsha West