"Hard Times at Jefferson High" (seriouser and curiouser times)

By Curtis Dahlgren

"The border is as secure as it's ever been." — Janet Reno-Napolitano

"If you can't give me your word of honor, will you give me your promise?" — Sam Goldwyn

"Homeland security's policy is 'hope their bombs don't go off." — Ann Coulter

"It was probably someone upset with the healthcare bill." — Mayor Bloomberg

"The [Democratic] party permits ordinary people to get ahead. Without the Party, I couldn't be a mayor." — Richard Daley I

"I can't live without that blanket. I can't face life unarmed." — Linus

UNCLE SAM HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO GET SERIOUS. Not about the "no-fly list" or the southern border, but the Michigan state line. Journalists and other idiots are so desperate for a Christian terrorist that they've arresting Christians armed with blankets and paint ball guns. The Left is SO desperate that some of them are thinking about sending their own kids out with crosses around their necks and "amateur" suicide bombs. Shoot — I guess we can't even sing "Onward Christian Soldiers" until Kingdom come.

The news has been so staggering lately that I've had trouble coming to terms with it all and seeing straight enough to start a new column. In fact, I don't even want to talk about the news. I think I'll warm up to it with a few more quotations:

"Directors I can fight. Fires on the set I can fight. Writers, even actors I can fight. But a Jewish colored fellow — this I can't fight." — Sam Goldwyn, on Sammy Davis, Jr.

"Tell [television] not to make the mistakes Hollywood made. Don't start making shows better after the people have stopped coming." — Goldwyn

"Part of me was disappointed that it wasn't a white man." — Contessa Brewer

"Don't pay any attention to your critics. Don't even ignore 'em." — Goldwyn

"Ninety percent of the American people want the border secured." — Gallup poll

"AMERICA IS A NATION OF COWARDS." Was that the President's Attorney General or one of his other Czars? How about this quotation:

"WE'RE GOING TO KEEP THE BOOT ON THE NECK OF BRITISH PETROLEUM." -Joe Gibbs

Yes, never trust those Anglo-Saxons as far as you can pitch 'em. Instead, the White House — by "Executive order" — gives billions in a loan to Brazil at the request of George Soros (for off-shore drilling for oil going to China). You call that an "Executive order"? I'll show you an Executive Order:

"NO TRESPASSING. TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED. SURVIVORS WILL BE DEPORTED. AND YOU CAN WALK BACK HOME."

Sorry about the "caps." I'm just a grumpy old white man — who believes that this Land is YOUR land — if you came here legally (and without intending to blow up Times Square or kill ranchers or deputy sheriffs, or traffic in human beings). Talk about "civil rights" violations! Don't get me started.

The commencement speech at the University of Michigan this year was an attack on the 90 percent of us who want the border secured yesterday. I understand the speaker is going to give another one at Kalamazoo. If he wants "civil discourse" and a "race to the top," he ought to visit the Upper Peninsula. He needs to get out more. He doesn't really know the American people.

We don't have many $9 million dollar ocean-front mansions with 9 bathrooms like Al Gore. We drive cars that are worth about $50 WHEN THE GAS TANK IS FULL.

My adopted hometown has one saloon, ten Christian churches, and two gas stations. One is a Citgo and the other is a BP. Even though the BP's price is 2 cents a gallon higher, we mostly patronize the BP so as to avoid supporting the Yugo Chavez conglomerate. AND BY THE WAY:

WHY AN OIL RIG FIRE? WHY NOW? AND WHY A BP RIG?

You do know, don't you, that BP and Conoco-Phillips dropped out of the United States Climate Action Partnership (USCAP) earlier this year? [Wall Street Journal online, 2/17/10]

Conoco and BP smelled a rat. With the earth cooling and the seas not rising, the USCAP plan was looking more and more like an old-fashioned Chicago shake-down (the Chicago boys are now calling for lawsuits against BP). BP is on their "short list" of enemies, I guess. Far be it from ME to be a conspiratorialist, but at the very least we ought to be asking some dumb questions!

- WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT CAUSED THE OIL RIG TO "BLOW UP"?

- WAS IT YUGO, FIDEL, OR CHINA (ALL OF WHOM ARE DRILLING IN THE GULF)?

- HOW ABOUT A "WARREN COMMISSION" TO INVESTIGATE THE EXPLOSIONS ON AN OIL RIG AND AT A REFINERY WITHIN DAYS OF EACH OTHER? (WERE ACTS OF TERRORISM INVOLVED)?

Joe-the-White House-plumber predicted that our young President would be "tested" y'know. Let's see: so far we've had a recruiting office shooting in Little Rock, the Ft. Hood massacre, the Christmasday bomber, and the Times Square bomber. And what has the White House done about it? Not even one Cruise missile fired.

Instead, Homeland Security warns about "dangerous" veterans, and police in full riot gear greet old grandmothers singing God Bless America at Tea party rallies. Recruits with Confederate flag tattoos are banned from the U.S. Marines. Navy Seals are persecuted for "punching" an enemy combatant in the stomach during his "arrest."

The Times Square bomber was a bumbling amateur, they say. In fact, he was a family man living the "American Dream" until the bank foreclosed on his home. Shoot, if I may say this, Islamo-fascism is no longer considered as dangerous to America as "Wall Street CEOs" or other executives who oppress and pollute "Mother Earth." By the way:

Did you hear that Goldman-Sachs short-sold Gulf oil the day before the explosion? I'm talking the "Wall Street" firm that gave millions to the Oboma campaign. And how convenient for the enviro-mental radicals that three off-shore rigs are shut down — and still no drilling in ANWAR! So much for the bad news.

THE GOOD NEWS is, the Michigan Dept. of Natural Resources and Environment held an auction of mineral rights on Tuesday: "Michigan turns gas into gold: Auction for mineral rights brings windfall" (Detroit FreePress, 5/5).

"Michigan's gas and oil industry entered a new era Tuesday with a record-setting auction that will be a windfall to the state's land trust fund and could signal a boom in drilling across the northern Lower Peninsula . . . By early evening, lease sales had topped $170 million — more than six times the previous record . .

"A Colorado-based company's single, almost 2-mile-deep well drilled over the winter in Missaukee County triggered the intense speculation on a possible boom in a deep formation known as Utica Shale."

Just the other week I mentioned our local gold-silver-copper-zinc mine. This is why our Founding Fathers set up a federation of sovereign states instead of an all-powerful central government. The states can be experimental laboratories to find out what works. They are now seen as a threat to the "best-laid plans of micely men and women" in Washington.

The ultimate defining characteristic of dictators is: They don't care what the States — or the people of the States — think. Oh, it's okay if the people sometimes agree (that's called "consensus"), but when 80 percent of the people disagree with the Supreme Authority, then it's called "uncivil discourse" or "dangerous rhetoric." And the compliant media — news and entertainment — try to schmaltz over the differences and intimidate "dissenters."

"How dare you question our good intentions?"

Well, FYI, when your "best intentions" are counter-productive, those "intentions" never healed a sick child, hired an unemployed worker, or promoted law and order.

P.S. For example, the 4/13 USA TODAY published a cover story on "Soaring debt, and painful choices." A graph printed in red ink told the story: In 2000 the national debt was $3.4 trillion — 35% of the total economy — but it is projected to be $20.3 trillion by 2020 — 90 percent of the economy's projected size. AND THAT WAS BEFORE A NEW H.H.S. REPORT INFORMED US THAT THE "HEALTH" REFORM WILL COST MORE THAN EXPECTED.

NOW THEY TELL US — AFTER THE MIDNIGHT VOTE WAS TAKEN IN CONGRESS!

PPS: After 40 years in Congress, David Obey has decided to call it quits. He says he's just "bone tired." Well, I would be too after all those all-nighters on the holiday weekends. The American people are bone-tired too — tired of all the B.S., the Ivy League lies.

WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS:

"Churchill's strength was not born of ideology . . . It did not derive from language itself. No matter how finely language may be constructed, divorced from truth it is repellent. And it did not derive from the calculus of power: he was at his best when he seemed God-forsaken, when, as if by divine allowance, there appeared before him an ember of truth that then would illuminate his way with the heat and light of a Glasgow steel furnace . .

"The way out of the wilderness is the truth: recognizing it, stating it, defending it, living by it . . " [ www.tysknews.com/Articles/out_of_wilderness.htm ]

The news this week has been very very depressing, thanks in part to the man who removed Churchill's bust from the Oval Office, and made jokes about asteroids and earthquakes.

BUT PERHAPS WE SEE AN "EMBER OF TRUTH" OUT THERE YET, EH?

The Tea parties are a symbol of hope. This is not Cuba. This is America. Americans are upset because WE haven't forgotten all of our history. We are expressing our opinions NOW because we know it will be too late to do it "LATER." In "Fear No Evil," Natan Sharansky wrote:

"I soon came to understand an important principle: if you want to remain the same free man you were before your arrest, if you don't want to wind up in the ranks of the loyal Soviet citizens — those slaves who don't dare express their own opinions, who justify themselves with such simplistic arguments as 'I'm just a little man, nothing depends on me,' 'You can't chop wood with a penknife,' or 'Why beat your head against the wall' — and if you don't want to become a laboratory rat in the hands of the KGB, you must resist!"

© Curtis Dahlgren