Part of my growing up experience included my friends affectionately calling me just by my last name, and my high school coaches doing the same, only not so affectionately. Problem is, most people have a tendency to mispronounce my last name. Instead of pronouncing the letter “v” at the end, they say it like my last name ends with an “f.” Hence Witkov becomes Witkoff. When I spell my name (over the phone or checking in somewhere) I always finish with, “That last letter is a ‘v’ as in the word ‘victory.’” But, more often than not, they still get it wrong.

I keep hearing the name “Witkoff” on the news and in various places. It makes me a little jumpy. Just the other day I heard two people I know talking to each other at a small social function from across the room. I clearly heard “Witkoff” in their conversation and initially thought they were talking about me. Of course, I learned, it wasn’t me they were referring to, it was Steve Witkoff, President Trump’s Middle East point man. It’s starting to drive me a little crazy.

And now I have something else to gripe about. People want to know if I am related to Steve Witkoff. The answer is an emphatic no. Although we both may share the same Russian-Jewish descent line, and the fact that his first name is my middle name, as far as I know, there is no other connection between the two of us. We live in different worlds.

With that in mind, I thought it would be helpful if I shared some of the differences between Steve Witkoff and myself, Harold Steven Witkov. Steve Witkoff is a billionaire, he has President Trump’s ear, and he likes to golf. I, Harold Witkov, am not rich, don’t have the President’s ear, and don’t golf.

Steve Witkoff gets credit for bringing home the hostages—an incredible feat he should be commended for. I, Harold Witkov, was ecstatic to see the hostages freed and had no input in the matter.

Steve Witkoff once had multimillion dollar financial difficulties and was bailed out by the Qataris. He has repeatedly praised Qatar’s leadership and loves to cozy up to them. I, Harold Witkov, on the other hand, have never had financial dealings with Qatar and am forever criticizing the Qatari leaders for their controversial investments and support of Hamas.

On August 26, 2014, there was an article written in RenewAmerica called “Could a Qatari ‘rescue’ of America be in our future?” The piece was a satire and warning piece that fast forwarded 10 years into the future (our present day). The last sentence of the article poignantly jokes, “The flag of Qatar is hoisted over the White House.” This beware-of-Qatar commentary was written by me, Harold Witkov, a decade ago, and I hold the same concerns now as I did then. That’s right. The article was penned by me, Harold Witkov: W-i-t-k-o-v, not to be confused with Witkoff: W-i-t-k-o-f-f.