Curtis Dahlgren
Column written in the middle of the night
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By Curtis Dahlgren
October 19, 2024

"Never toss away anything you get up to write in the middle of the night." – anon

KALAMITY HARRIS identifies as a super hero, but she can't find a phone booth.

She can't wait to be in charge of the CIA, whatever that is.

Generally speaking, she doesn't speak like a general or a Commander in Chief.

She speaks five languages, none of which ever existed before.

She was a crack author before crack was cool.

She's the toast of the town, but a little black around the edges.

She has three on the tree, but she's stuck in second gear.

The barn light's on, but the cows never came home.

Her silo doesn't have a roof on it, and the ladder doesn't go all the way to the top, bless her cotton pickin' heart.

P.S. Tim who? Uffda.

PPS: The Lord doesn't like people who speak evil of dignities, but indignities are another matter. May God have mercy.

© Curtis Dahlgren

 

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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)

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