Curtis Dahlgren
"What's the Matter With Chicago" (and comedians and Contessa Brewer)?
By Curtis Dahlgren
June 12, 2009

"One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes a revolution in order to establish a dictatorship." — George Orwell

WE ARE WITNESSING A REVOLUTION — a very "peaceful" Revolution (so "peaceful" that many people are totally oblivious to it). However, President Obama has also awakened a Sleeping Giant (the great Silent Majority). In attempting to tie down such giants as Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage, he has done so much talking that he has awakened the Giant himself from sleep — the gigantic Middle America.

WE ALL KNOW NOW that the economy is still in such serious trouble that when Timothy Geithner told an audience in China that the Chinese "investments" in our debts are 'safe and sound,' they laughed in his face. Even the Russian newspaper Pravda is alarmed by the Obama Revolution.

With one side of their mouths, the Gang of Four from Chicago says that they have "no desire to run a car company"; with the other side, they fire the CEO of GM and dictate to Chrysler that they must sell out to FIAT! [Mr. Chrysler must be rolling over in his grave.]

With one side of their mouths, the Gang of Four
says that this is the New Age of Responsibility; with the other side, by fiat, they print trillions in confederate dollar bills to reward campaign contributors from ACORN to the UAW (isn't that "play for pay"?).

With one side of their mouths, they say it's an emergency, so we have to forget what the Constitution says; with the other side, they talk about "Pay-as-you-go." [Meanwhile, they punish people who have paid their mortgage bills, and reward those who haven't.]

With one side of their mouths, they appease their special interest groups (from the gay-transgender groups to Freedom-from-Christianity groups; with the other side, they talk about "consensus" and "common ground."

With one side of their mouths, they talk about "diversity"; with the other side, they savage talk radio hosts and blame them for murders (it's a great paradox that conservatives, who are about the last friend the State of Israel has left, can be demonized and marginalized by McCarthy-like generalizations). Blaming "white hate-mongers" for a shooting by a mad man at the Holocaust Museum is like blaming the Bluebird of Happiness for cow pies in Calcutta). It just doesn't compute.

With one side of their mouths, they talk about "healing the world" and Saving the Planet; with the other side of their mouths, the more forcefully they speak into the teleprompter, the more pollutants they breathe out — carbon dioxide — none of which makes sense to the common man!


My family has some roots in Illinois. My mother was working at Michael Reese hospital when my father was courting her. I lived in the Chicago area for a few weeks in 1964. My brother, through the Republican party, was personally acquainted with the senior Mayor Daley's brother-in-law. And I even knew a guy who got sucked into the Chicago mob by an offer he couldn't refuse (the Mob still exists, believe it or not). I wasn't just born yesterday, and my hand has shaken the hand of a hand that has since shaken the hand of Chicago mobsters; my hand has also shaken the hand of a wise man who shook the hands of many heads-of-state around the world.

Some of our young people think that the 2000 Bush-Gore election was the first one that was that closely contested, and protested. I clearly recall 1960, and the Kennedy family's Chicago connections (Merchandise Mart, etc.). The Chicago Machine actually dumped ballot boxes into Lake Michigan without counting them (from the north side of town, I assume). A huge storm on the lake blew them back to shore, and Mayor Daley's brother-in-law said to my brother, "Did you hear what they did?"


By the way, I suspect that the Minnesota Democratic party has been coached by ACORN; Republican votes have no doubt been sunk in Lake We-be-gone. However, the election of a clown to the U.S. Senate is still in doubt!

Speaking of comics and comedians, did you hear about David Letterman's recent monologue about the Palin family? I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see the faces of the audience members when Letterman said that Sarah Palin dresses like a slutty fight attendant. At least he used PC terminology. The audience might have been offended had he used the word "stewardess."

There are conservative comedians too, of course. But can you imagine Bob Hope ever joking about Caroline Kennedy getting PG during the 7th inning stretch at Yankee Stadium (it's a ludicrous thought simply because Hope never would have said such a thing)? But if a Dennis Miller "ribs the libs," it's called "hate-speech." Democrat offspring are off-limits when it comes to politics. But Alaskans are so, like, rednecks-from-the-north that anything goes. Contessa Brewer was even "offended" that Sarah Palin called Letterman pathetic. I wonder if he ever won a letter in high school; if so, his school should recall Letterman's letter. Sarah is a good sport, but Letterman certainly ain't.

If I may digress (and I always do), I've given some thought to Presidents and their offspring. Truman had one daughter and he didn't run for reelection in 1952. Eisenhower had one son, a military man, and Ike was reelected in 56. JFK had a son and a daughter and had mixed results in office. LBJ had two daughters and did not choose to run in 1968. Nixon had two daughters and resigned from office (Ford had sons but was never actually elected). Carter had one daughter, and lost his bid for reelection in 1980.

President Reagan had a son and a daughter, and an adopted son, and won reelection. Bill Clinton had one daughter and was impeached. George W. Bush had two daughters and was a most unpopular President by 2008. Now we have another President with two daughters, and his popularity is falling like a rock. I think that the National Organization for Women should call for an investigation into the American people for anti-daughter bigotry. Also, FDR had sons and he was very popular. There does seem to be a pattern here, but I don't know what to make of it.

One thing I know for sure: If Dennis Miller or the "entertainer" Rush Limbaugh had made a joke about Mrs. Obama dressing like a slutty fight attendant, or one of their daughters, all hell would've broken loose. Contessa Brewer wouldn't be asking the White House spokesman "why Michelle took offense" (it's just "comedy" after all; what's the big deal?).

WE ALL KNOW that the mainstream media would go apoplectic if any conservative made any "inappropriate" commentary on Michelle or Hillary's wardrobes. So the word for the day, boys and girls, is "apoplectic."

"Apoplexy, n.; a sudden loss of consciousness, sensation, and/or voluntary motion, due generally to rupture of a blood vessel in the brain" [figuratively, a knee-jerk reaction, in other words]. That reminds me of the female MIT professor who couldn't breath upon hearing Larry Summers propose a "theory" that men and women "might be" different.

Like "global warming," there are certain subjects that have been taken off the table; the debate is over; to even imagine that there could be two sides to the coin is inappropriate thought, hate-speech, or an imprisonable offense in LaLa Land (Miss California certainly found out that one can be FIRED at least, by Donald Trump, for saying the "wrong thing"). That's why Rush says that there is a "palpable fear" of criticizing the Obama policies in the current climate. There is a CHILL in the air, whether you live in the U.P. of Michigan or California.

If the "Fourth Estate" news media really wanted to do their "job," they would lay off Sarah Palin for a few days, and ask themselves a few "dumb questions":

- Why have suicide bombing increased in Iraq and Pakistan increased since our President gave his Cairo speech (which was intended to be a New Beginning in U.S.-Muslim relations?

- How do we know that the Holocaust Museum shooter wasn't inspired by the Cairo speech more than anything (since it essentially described the extermination of six million Jews and the attempt by Jews to protect themselves from Hamas rockets as equally immoral)?

- Why did China object to the proposed move of Gitmo detainees to Palau?

- Why is it that the "bank failure capital of the USA" is a liberal state, California?

- How can Obamaland say that "Health care 'reform' is possible without a growing debt?"

- Why is it that any rate of unemployment is "the worst economy in the last 50 years" if a Republican is in the White House, but closing down over 2,000 auto dealerships is good news under a Democrat?


George Orwell said that a Liberal is "a power worshipper without power." Someone once said:

"If you want to truly understand your power, give up control from time to time."

Our "planet-saving" Liberals can't even allow conservatives the privilege of asking dumb questions, because that would be giving up "control" for a moment or two from time to time. The only way "climate change" can be understood is if they allow dumb questions about it.

The President has such a "gifted" voice that he could say the sky is green and the grass is blue, and some people would go like, "He sounds so sincere."

The only way continental drift could be "reversed" would be if California fell into the Pacific Ocean (I don't actually favor that, but it's a possibility), and "mankind" has a greater chance of reversing continental drift than of controlling the climate!

Al Gore has about as much expertise regarding climatology as the new CEO of General Motors has regarding the auto business (he admits he knows "nothing" about cars). But none of these facts matter to the mainstream (government-run) news media.


More to come (we're soon to be

P.S. I hate to cut this column "short," but I simply must go outside and cut more firewood for my stove (it's not exactly short-sleeves and shorts weather up here in the U.P. of Michigan). The U.P. isn't going to be producing much corn for "bio-fuel" this year. As a local columnist for the weekly newspaper says, our corn may be knee-high by the 4th this year — 4th of August, that is. I think our groundhog died. We may have to out-source our groundhog predictions to Pennsylvania, or else face six more weeks of windy winter.

PPS: George Orwell said:

"Political language . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidarity to pure wind."

And just a few words more:

Speaking of Chicago, one of the pithiest columns I've ever written was in 2007 after a visit to Hyde Park. Among other things, I said:

"I CAN NOW SAY THAT I'VE BEEN TO THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO LAW SCHOOL. I made a wrong turn down a dead end street, and had to make a U-turn there. I was in the neighborhood last summer to visit the Oriental Institute, and what a neighborhood it is!

"The Chicago Theological Seminary is across the street from this famous Middle Eastern museum. It is surrounded by churches of staggering proportions. They are evidently connected with the various "Divinity Schools" at the U. of Chicago. Some of these churches have bell towers ten stories high. It seems like standing in Europe somewhere looking up at thousand-year-old steeples.

"But unfortunately, the Church of the Living God is not a building. The cathedrals may still be sound, but not all the teaching heads at the seminaries are! . . .

"I felt a cold October shiver as I stood outside the Chicago Theological Seminary last summer." *

I have a suspicion that we Yoopers are going to feel literal as well as figurative "shivers" this summer as we watch both the weather and the news.

* "Back to School, part X; Even the seminaries are being driven into the ground"

© Curtis Dahlgren


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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)


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