D.C. three stooge act booked for one more year

By Harold Witkov

You do not have to be fluent in Pig Latin to understand that the president, the majority leader of the House, and the majority leader of the Senate have been "moiderin'" this country — but speaking a little "stooge" can lead to greater insight.

Although 2010 looks like more of the same shtick, our one silver lining is this should be the final year for the Washington slapstick team of The Three Democrat Stooges. So, for one more year only, let us welcome back to the American stage the stooge team of Nancy MOElosi, LARRY Reid, and Barack SHEMPbama! (Sorry Curly fans)

2010
THREE DEMOCRAT STOOGES
PROGRAM
Act I. Ethical behavior:

"Is it honest work?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"No." (Three Little Pigskins)

"Every man for himself." (Restless Knights)

Act II. Illegal immigration:

"Dogs and cats aren't enough. Now we have to have a haven for refugees!" (All the World's a Stooge)

Act III. Unemployment strategy:

"...there isn't any." (Dizzy Doctors)

Act IV. Best excuse:

"I'm a victim of coicumstance." (Disorder in the Court)

Act V. Health care reform:

"Now that you've taken a pill, you got to skip an hour." (Pardon my Clutch)

"Go ahead Doc, take a chance, what do you got to lose." (All the World's a Stooge)

"Beat it Grandpa, we got no time for kibitzers." (Three Little Twirps)

"Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard." (Men in Black)

Act VI. The belligerency of Iran and N. Korea:

"Them's fighting words in my country ... Well, we ain't in my country." (Hold that Lion)

Act VII. The growing deficit:

"We all put the yeast in!" (Beer Barrel Polecats)

These old vaudevillian lines and antics are just some of the reasons that 2010 will be the final run for the Democrat Three Stooges team. The American audience has wised up to these wise guys. No longer amused by the threesome, we have concluded:

"Every time you think, you weaken the nation." (Half-Shot Shooters)

© Harold Witkov