John McCain's "racist" joke that wasn't

By Selwyn Duke

Being a conservative just ain't what it used to be. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) was recently accused of tweeting a "racist" joke – by another Republican.

The issue arose when McCain, responding to Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's remark that he'd like to be sent into space (not, I assume, by an Israeli nuke), referenced Iran's recent successful launch of a monkey into space and tweeted, "So Ahmadinejad wants to be the 1st Iranian in space – Wasn't he just there last week?"

Now, I do think McCain owes an apology. After all, the brave "simianaut" that risked his life to push back the frontiers of Persian science to 1949 Western heights should not have his reputation besmirched. Yet GOP congressman Justin Amash had a different take. Writes Seattlepi.com:

Second-term Rep. Justin Amash, R-Mich., a second generation Palestinian-American, was not laughing.

"Maybe U should wisen up & not make racist jokes," he admonished McCain, also on Twitter.

Okay, now first let me say, Amash, dude, I, like, so totally just don't, like, respect someone who writes "you" as "U" in any context. I mean, aren't you, like, in Congress, dude? Also note that "wisen" isn't a word; perhaps Amash is thinking of "wizen," which means "to wither," as in "Our educational system has withered." I also have to ask: does Amash even understand what McCain's joke references? I note that the congressdude is the sixth-youngest member of his august body, and I have to wonder if his knowledge of current events and history match his writing style. Does he even know that Iran just sent a monkey up 79 miles in a rocket? Is he aware that man has a long history of sending monkeys into space (and, it seems, a more recent history of sending them to Congress)?

Whatever the case, Amash's reaction reminds me of a scene from the old Get Smart. In it, CONTROL agent Maxwell Smart is sent to an agency psychiatrist for an evaluation. The shrink – heavy German accent and all (since half my heritage is German, should I complain of stereotyping?) – gives the bumbling g-man a Rorschach test; Smart then proceeds to interpret every nondescript inkblot as people or animals having sex. When the surprised psychiatrist exclaims, "Mr. Shmaht, you zeem to be obzessed vith zex!" Smart defensively replies, "Well, you're the one showing me the dirty pictures!"

Amash's problem isn't McCain's joke – it's his own dirty mind. It's common to mock leaders by making unflattering comparisons to animals, monkeys in particular. Why, the left consistently and unashamedly portrayed George W. Bush as a monkey, and no one accused them of bigotry. Thus, the fact that Amash would extrapolate McCain's comment to all Persians says more about him than it does about the senator.

We also have to wonder what "race" McCain's joke would be targeting. Persians are Caucasoid, just like Senator McCain. But I doubt Amash knows this, and it's likely he is conflating ethnicity or even religious affiliation with race, as is common among the brainwashed young. But a quick lesson, congressman: "Muslim" isn't a race, "racism" isn't synonymous with "bigotry," and feelings aren't facts. And a bit of advice, too:

Don't be a donkey. There are already too many of them taking up space in government and blasting us into the idiotsphere.

© Selwyn Duke