Don Cobb
The Miracle: Let's get this party started...
By Don Cobb
July 7, 2009

It's generational, this social and family dysfunction which is so rampant in America. We call it "normal," and that is a fact, but it doesn't make it healthy or right or good. I can't help but recall the term "generational curse" when I'm helping a man overcome the effects that abuse, neglect, abandonment and/or molestation had on him as a child, which carried over into his adult life. Alcoholism is easy to fit into that hole called "generational curse," as alcoholism rarely skips a generation once it's manifested in Mom or Dad. Then, children of alcoholics commonly pick up the torch and carry it to their children. It's very, very common. These days, alcoholism has been joined by drug addiction as politically correct and socially acceptable ways to alter one's mind in order to cope with life. That is, in order to cope with life without developing one's character, I mean, and instead using medication to dull the feelings that come with living unprincipled, emotionally immature lifestyles which so many Americans have been coerced into choosing to embrace over the past few decades.

I began to wonder about generational curses, although I'm not one to delve into much research other than what is going on right here right now. I'm very much a fan of the present, fascinated with that constantly moving sliver of time. More specifically, I've fallen in love with the moment, after realizing that my life only exists at that time, not a moment ago, not a moment from now, but only right now, in the moment, that is where my life is taking place.

Helping men overcome drug addiction and alcoholism, as well as sexually abnormal manifestations of behavior has raised my suspicions regarding generational curses. Amazingly, the vast majority of clients with alcoholism grew up in homes in which parents (or one parent) were also alcoholic. The same can be said of sexual predators. Most who have engaged in sexually abusive or deviant behavior were also molested, neglected, abandoned and/or abused as children. Parents with a criminal history of incarceration oftentimes raise children who end up in jail and/or prison, as well. Violent and abusive parents tend to raise children who are abusers. It's a generational phenomena, and it's widespread in America.

No one can solve issues like these for us. They are personal problems and only we can decide when something needs to be done about them. Denial is an amazingly powerful manifestation, and not easily overcome without some life-changing or traumatic event. From drug addiction to abusive relationships to phobias and criminal behavior, Denial keeps the sufferer from the truth about themselves and blind to the real consequences of their actions. As any former addict or abuser will attest to, Denial can be a very powerful obstacle which stands firmly between you and reality.

Many Americans might not relate to what I've said here, largely because it's hard to see our own shortcomings, particularly when it comes to our children. The truth, however, is plain to see. Our children are reflections of who they saw us to be. Are they raising our grandkids gently, erring on the side of love and kindness? Or are they doing battle with their children, demanding that even 2, 3 and 4 year olds follow their rules explicitly or suffer the consequences? Whichever mode of parenting they've adopted, they likely got it from watching us. The generation who got too busy to really be good parents, who needed two jobs in the family because one wasn't enough, who sacrificed personal attention to our children for a few extra dollars in the bank — the generation who collectively birthed more children than any generation before us — we're responsible for how America is today. We are responsible for getting back on track, as well.

Far too many Americans have abandoned God for money. We abandoned personal integrity in exchange for personal pleasure and image. We abandoned our own principles because we thought everyone else was, too. It was an illusion, however, that everyone was abandoning their principles. The media painted a picture for us and we forgot that movies and TV were only fantasy. We watched the hip, slick and cool getting away with murder, lying and selfish overindulgence and began to believe that we, too, could get away with such things. We began to worship stuff and the almighty dollar and started seeing people as tools to either use or discard, depending on their usefulness to us to get up the corporate and/or societal ladders. We've even tended to view our children that way, that those who were compliant were favored over those who were more of a challenge, doling out our love based on performance in many homes. We've let a vast minority of Americans dictate the direction our nation has gone for decades now, because America suffers from Codependence and a variety of complexes in a real big way now. The downside of America's prosperity is guilt and shame. Slavery has ended but has created generations of blacks with entitlement issues and whites with guilt complexes, unable to let that time go and move into a healthier today. Other minorities have played on that guilt to their own self-serving end. While Americans watched how God blessed us from the beginning until the 1960's, we were a proud nation that stood for something. Honesty, courage and patriotism, friendliness and charity were all trademarks of this great nation. Something shifted, however, in the 1960's and '70's, as the media and marketing began to obsess on the importance of Self, and we bought into it. Thus began the slide from personal prosperity into fear and dependence upon government. Honesty, courage and patriotism lost their priority amongst the masses. Friendliness and charity were replaced by sarcasm, selfishness and ruthlessness and suddenly Americans no longer know their neighbors or pray for one another or even acknowledge one another unless eye contact is unavoidable.

If America is going to return to the greatness from which it was born, it will require Americans to return to principled living, selflessness, faith and charity. We must embrace a lifestyle once more which includes rigorous honesty, self sacrifice, integrity and humility, and there is only one way that Human flesh can embrace a manner of living such as this. We must return to that place in which we are genuinely grateful that our Creator has blessed us with our faculties, our lives and all who are in our lives, and we must seek the wisdom of the One who created us, the heavens and the Earth, and stop leaning on our own understanding. We don't have the answers for the problems our society faces today. Our answer, if one only looks to Washington D.C. right now, is to manufacture and throw more money at our problems and turn control over to our government, and history has already proven many times that these methods do not work.

One only needs to look at the documents used to found this great nation in order to see where our former prosperity came from. Our founders were clear that only by God's hand was this nation born, and I am clear that only by God's hand will this nation return to the prosperity, safety and freedom that have been slipping away from us for the past 40 years. It needs to start with prayer. No one can dictate who you pray to. We still have the freedom to worship as we feel led in America. But we need to get on our knees and humble ourselves and pray for knowledge of God's will for our nation, then be willing to do whatever it is He leads us to feel led to do.

It has to start with prayer. Prayer must be followed up with action. Please pray for courage and perseverance and wisdom to see the truth in the mass of confusion created by the media today. Pray for freedom from the bondage of Self, and that God's will, His plans for you, be manifested in your life today. Humbly pray for the power to make a difference in people's lives around you, and that all your needs will be met while you're busy helping others. Lock arms with other grateful Americans and make the weekly/monthly trip to your respective city council meetings and hold your representative accountable for what they're doing right now. Pray that you will become a part of the solution for America. Love your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. Then do it all again tomorrow.

© Don Cobb


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Don Cobb

Don Cobb, RAS is an addiction recovery professional and serves as Executive Director for North Bay Recovery Services in Sonoma County, CA. Don recently published a book entitled 12 Steps: NOT For Dummies... (more)


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