Screwtape: This year, I'm thankful for Republicans

By Adam Graham

From: Dave Screwtape

To: Subscribers

Subject: Thanksgiving Thoughts

As Democrats, we should be thankful for many things this year. I'm of course thankful we have a President-elect who subscribes to progressive principles and is aggressively bringing change to Washington with his appointment of former Clinton Administration officials. I have to be thankful for my son being hired to work in the Obama White House. While I was nearly completely absent for his childhood, I'm more than happy to share in his accomplishments.

Also, great work by the staff of both our House and Senate campaign committee will contribute to the most Democratic Senate since 1993, or since 1997, depending on how the Franken Recount and the James Martin-Saxby Chambliss runoff go.

However, as thankful as I am for the resurgent Democratic might across the country, it wouldn't have been possible but for the hard work of our opponents. The ability to have more than half the Congressional Districts in the country gerrymandered to favor you, and still find yourself nearly 80 seats behind the other party is a feat of incompetence that deserves an admittance into a Hall of Fame.

I'm excited by much of the cross-talk I've observed from the right which indicates the right's issues are just beginning:

• Secular conservatives blaming Republican defeat on the religious right. My Thanksgiving prayer to every deity, or to none at all if you prefer, is, "Please let them kick the religious right out." If hot-button issues, such as abortion or gay marriage, are thrown out of the political sphere, it will be to our benefit. There is a word for many of these "Values Voters," if social issues are thrown out of the political equation. "Democrats" or "Non-voters."
  
  There are simply not enough voters who agree with Republican economics, but have their vote swung by the Democrats' stance in favor of abortion. If the Republicans can't win with the religious right, they can't win without them, either. The most secular conservatives will win is the ability to lose in an intellectually satisfying matter.
  
  The best thing about this scapegoating is that it distracts from what caused the Republicans to fail (incompetence in government) and makes a constituency that is vital to any future electoral success feel persecuted. As I said, heck of a job.
  
  
• The urge for unity from figures such as Michael Reagan. This actually raises many more philosophical questions than it provides. What is there to unify around? What does it mean to be a Republican? Does anyone know anymore? From what I gather, being a Republican means that you support bailouts for everyone but the middle class. What do they expect people to rally to? A strong and abiding belief in the letter "R?" Or how about standing firm behind the clueless leadership that led them over the cliff?
  
  Again, heck of a job.
  
  
• Finally, the attempt by some to scapegoat the GOP voters. It was "their fault" for not getting more energized. It was the fault of several million Republican voters who decided to "take their ball and go home." Or the voters who were just so misinformed and confused they voted for Obama.
  
  The arrogance of the argument is astounding (even for me.) It's the fault of voters that they didn't vote your way or weren't inspired? We have to be thankful to think that it's their voters jobs to inspire themselves to come out and vote. Or they believe it's the job of volunteers to motivate themselves. Of course, neither volunteers nor voters are the professional in this matter of elections. It is the job of candidates and party officials to win the support of enough voters. It seems some are saying it is the job of these voters to materialize and vote Republican. It's the fantasy land rules of politics that our Republican opponents believe in that allow them the luxury of such idiotic ignorance.
  
  

With such an inept opposition from the Republicans, we should accustom ourselves to the wine of victory, and those of you in Congress should get used to the calls of Mister Chairman, Madam Speaker, etc. Despite whatever flaws the years reveal in our party, we'll always have one advantage: We're not Republicans.

Best Personal Regards,
Dave Screwtape

The Screwtape Report is written by Adam Graham. The Screwtape Report is written from a Democratic perspective by a conservative in order to reveal Democratic strategy and thinking.

© Adam Graham