Curtis Dahlgren
"Make a liberal laugh someday month" - Week 9 (PG-13 rating)
By Curtis Dahlgren
"Gang-bangers are not 'animals'; just men are (white men, that is)." – typical Left-wing logic
IF YOU ARE DATING a feminist college professor, you have to learn how to speak her language:
Dear, if I may call you dear, would you be inclined to permit me to impress upon you an expression of my high regard for your persona in a mutually egalitarian manner, and if your feelings are in the affirmative, let us celebrate our gender-neutral equality and our existential anti-antidisestablishmentarianism, okay? [translation: "Kiss me"]. But if you are dating a feminist professor, WHY?
Remember the good old days, whenever people were "stuck in the fifties" and couples just knew when "the time was right"? And they didn't have to sign any pre-nuptial contracts – or do anything stupid – on the first date? On the other end of the extremes, the state of Nevada hosts an annual Labor Day weekend orgiastic party – to "learn sex" (including horse-whipping).
Not surprisingly, some of the attendees complain every year about "uninvited misbehavior." Invited misbehavior is just fine I guess. And you have to wonder why they blame everything on Donald Trump! The OLD Trump would be considered COOL, wouldn't he? President 42 certainly was, and so was his most tolerant "wife." She could do no wrong. At least nothing that any prosecutor would bother prosecuting. Next time you get pulled over for speeding, tell the officer you didn't "intend" to violate the law. You were just trying not to get run over by the guy behind you.
When he gives us the ticket, we old-timers even unconsciously tell him "Thank you," don't we?
P.S. Seriously, I'm okay with the MeToo movement as long as all of the "victims" are really victims. Shockingly, they aren't always honest. And they can't keep their mouths shut if you know what I mean.
PPS: Since I'm writing on a holiday weekend, I thought I'd cut the column shorter this week. By the way, I went "up north" early, and a distant cousin who was along caught a 42" sturgeon. We threw it back. To some people, "up north" is anywhere north of South Beloit, Illinois (I was born in the South – south of South Beloit). I just wish every kid in the world could spend a week out in the middle of nowhere at least once in their lives. Any day spent fishing is better than the best day selling dope. And real up north is north of the 45th parallel.
Oh, by the way, here's the joke-of-the-day. Q: Do old people wear boxers or briefs? A: It depends! But either way, they wear belts with their pants.
Have a good one. More to come.
© Curtis Dahlgren
September 1, 2018
"Gang-bangers are not 'animals'; just men are (white men, that is)." – typical Left-wing logic
IF YOU ARE DATING a feminist college professor, you have to learn how to speak her language:
Dear, if I may call you dear, would you be inclined to permit me to impress upon you an expression of my high regard for your persona in a mutually egalitarian manner, and if your feelings are in the affirmative, let us celebrate our gender-neutral equality and our existential anti-antidisestablishmentarianism, okay? [translation: "Kiss me"]. But if you are dating a feminist professor, WHY?
Remember the good old days, whenever people were "stuck in the fifties" and couples just knew when "the time was right"? And they didn't have to sign any pre-nuptial contracts – or do anything stupid – on the first date? On the other end of the extremes, the state of Nevada hosts an annual Labor Day weekend orgiastic party – to "learn sex" (including horse-whipping).
Not surprisingly, some of the attendees complain every year about "uninvited misbehavior." Invited misbehavior is just fine I guess. And you have to wonder why they blame everything on Donald Trump! The OLD Trump would be considered COOL, wouldn't he? President 42 certainly was, and so was his most tolerant "wife." She could do no wrong. At least nothing that any prosecutor would bother prosecuting. Next time you get pulled over for speeding, tell the officer you didn't "intend" to violate the law. You were just trying not to get run over by the guy behind you.
When he gives us the ticket, we old-timers even unconsciously tell him "Thank you," don't we?
P.S. Seriously, I'm okay with the MeToo movement as long as all of the "victims" are really victims. Shockingly, they aren't always honest. And they can't keep their mouths shut if you know what I mean.
PPS: Since I'm writing on a holiday weekend, I thought I'd cut the column shorter this week. By the way, I went "up north" early, and a distant cousin who was along caught a 42" sturgeon. We threw it back. To some people, "up north" is anywhere north of South Beloit, Illinois (I was born in the South – south of South Beloit). I just wish every kid in the world could spend a week out in the middle of nowhere at least once in their lives. Any day spent fishing is better than the best day selling dope. And real up north is north of the 45th parallel.
Oh, by the way, here's the joke-of-the-day. Q: Do old people wear boxers or briefs? A: It depends! But either way, they wear belts with their pants.
Have a good one. More to come.
© Curtis Dahlgren
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