Curtis Dahlgren
POLITICS: Too cute by half and too "heavy" by twice (another classic)
By Curtis Dahlgren
January 22, 2012

"The report speaks for itself. It's a very good report. It's a very long report. I haven't read the report yet."

UK Member of Parliament

"In my opinion he will make a great king. He is a young man wise beyond his ears." — Armand Hammer, on Prince Charles

AMERICAN POLITICIANS HAVE BEEN HUMORLESS, and void of substance, since about January 1989. It's hard to recall any quotations by the last three Presidents — except the bad ones ("If you love me, you've gotta help me pass this bill"). SO- I think it's time to recall some well-known and some little-known quotations from the olden days of real politics!

- "I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican. I am a registered Whig." — Jack Benny

- "The evolutionary process in governments continues. We have passed from Feudalism to Capitalism. Our current stage, as we all know, is corruption." — Jules Feiffer

- "The system has not failed — but some of us have failed the system." — Edmund Muskie

- "Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river." — Nikita Krushchev

- "I never thought my speeches were too long; I enjoyed them." — Hubert H. Humphrey

- "Sometimes people mistake the way I talk for what I am thinking." — Idi Amin

- "Marvin never tells a lie if he can give you a misleading statement instead." — friend of Marvin Mandell (former MD guv)

- "What the liberal really wants is to bring about change which will not in any way endanger his position." — Stokely Carmichael

- "Hell hath no fury like a Liberal scorned!" — Dick Gregory

- "It's possible to dazzle a crowd if you really work at it. But that is no qualification for leadership." — George McGovern

- "Our traditional two-party system has become a three-party system — Republican, McGovern, and Democrat." — Pres. Reagan

- "Idealism is fine; but as it approaches reality, the cost becomes prohibitive." — Wm. F. Buckley, Jr.

- "Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing." — Bernard Baruch

- "The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level." — Norman Mailer

- "The function of liberal Republicans is to shoot the wounded after battle." — Eugene McCarthy

- "To treat comrades like enemies is to go over to the stand of the enemy." — Mao

- "God loves all men, but is enchanted by none." — Isaac Asimov

- "Don't be humble, you're not that great." — Golda Meir

- "It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things people might remember." — Gene McCarthy

- "A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns." — "The Godfather"

- "Propaganda is the art of persuading others of what one does not believe oneself." — Abba Eben

- "U.S. policy on the world scene is viewed as being neutral toward our enemies, friendly toward the neutrals, and unfriendly toward our friends." — Strom Thurmond

- "Diplomacy, like politics, is the art of the possible; and if we use our leverage toward an unachievable end, we will create a mess." — George Ball

- "It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity." — Dag Hammarskjold

- "I would not be truthful if I said I was fully qualified for the office. I do not play the piano, I seldom play golf, and I never play touch football." — Barry Goldwater

- "I'm a Ford, not a Lincoln." — Gerald Ford

- "I am as conservative as the Constitution, as liberal as Lincoln, and as progressive as Theodore Roosevelt before the Bull Moose movement." — George Romney

- "The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe." — former mayor Frank Rizzo

- "As long as I am mayor, there will be law and order in Chicago. Nobody is going to take over this city." — Rich Daley

- "What you see is what you get." — Flip Wilson


Henry Kissinger once said, "The history of things that didn't happen has never been written."

Maybe it's time for someone to write that book!

P.S. Spiro T. Agnew once said, "I forsook the confortable code of many of my predecessors, abandoned the unwritten rules — and said something."

"The History of Things That Should Have Been Said Before It Was Too Late" would make a fine book title for someone!Either that or "Dumb Questions That Should Have Been Asked Long Ago Already"!


If the seas are rising, why are cruise ships running aground?

- If the globe is warming, why are cruise ships in Antarctica getting icebound?

- Why is the President promoting tourism while turning off the spigot of the Keystone pipeline?

The most famous lines produced by 21st century politicians will probably be gaffes, such as V.P. Biden's comment the other day that "the Giants are on their way to the Super Bowl" — to a San Francisco audience. And White House spokesman Jay Carney said that the President's main priority in the Keystone decision was protecting "the water that our children breath"!

I think what he's trying to say is
"We're sunk" (like the Concordia and the Andrea Doria).

The American economy may be getting sunk in the Mediterranean due to our entanglements with NATO and the IMF, World Bank and USAID, etc. And did you ever notice that the President always announces his bad news on Fridays, Christmas Eve, or New Year's Eve?

I used to live half a mile from a Canada-to-Chicago oil pipeline, and never lost a minute's worth of sleep over "threats to the environment." However, lots of people have lost sleep over his HELLthCare 2009 "Christmas present." Do you have any idea how many stress-related illnesses have been caused by Oboma-care? It may be time to move to Canada.

BY THE WAY: Canada may have socialized medicine, but one thing she doesn't have is a foreign trade deficit — because she Capitalizes on her natural resources. North of the border, they don't turn up their noses at what God gave them (unlike Wisconsin Democrats re iron, copper, and gold — or the Administration on oil and gas)!

Speaking of bad news on Fridays, quote:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) — The Obama administration on Friday ruled that religiously affiliated nonprofit organizations, including hospitals and universities, will have to offer birth-control coverage to women employees but gave the organizations an extra year to comply.

In a decision expected to draw opposition from religious conservatives, the Department of Health and Human Services issued a final rule requiring affiliated groups to provide a broad range of services, from implanted contraceptive devices to the morning-after pill. Many do not at present . . . [unquote].

In the Liberal lexicon, freedom of religion does not MEAN separation of the powers-that-be from controlling religion. The right to "exercise" religion does not include freedom of conscience! In cases of conflict between the socio-political elites, a TIE GOES TO THE POWERS-THAT-BE.


© Curtis Dahlgren


The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)


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